


When The Illusion Breaks

by Alazan



Category: Firefly
Genre: Alliance is an Organization sort of like the Mob, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Arguing, Established Relationship, Guilt, Hurt Simon, I'm Bad At Tagging, Inspired by Criminal Minds Episode "Penelope", M/M, Male Slash, Relationship Problems, Serenity is still a crew of thieves, Shooting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-24
Updated: 2015-06-24
Packaged: 2018-04-06 00:02:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4200135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alazan/pseuds/Alazan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone." -Orson Welles </p><p>Being in a relationship with Jayne wasn't easy, but Simon always thought it was worth it. Until Jayne pushes him to the point that he no longer does. </p><p>That point happened to arrive after a fight in a bar where Jayne kept flirting even though Simon asked him to stop, where they fought and Jayne told him to get lost, when Simon arrived to his apartment only to be followed by a member of the Alliance and gets shot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When The Illusion Breaks

It's become a bit of a tradition. Whenever the crew of Serenity had a job lined up that needed a long travel, they would go out to their favorite bar and have a drink. Wash as the getaway driver and well, driver in general, also acted as the designated driver. Simon being the gentleman that he was, and not really much of a drinker, joined him in sobriety as well as keeping their team mates and loved ones safe. 

Sometimes things went surprisingly smooth. 

Most of the time Mal would find someone to piss off and have Jayne there to back him up in a fight. 

That was routine. 

That was over three years of being in a relationship with Jayne. 

Recently though...Simon's felt a rift. He knew from the beginning that Jayne wasn't all that affectionate when it came to being a couple in public. Lately it's been worse. Jayne's remarks seemed meaner and with actual intent. He would leer and shamelessly flirt with women anywhere they seemed to be, even though Simon's right next to him. 

Tonight was no different. 

Serenity was to leave by midnight to a job in the next town, as soon as they had their fill they would be on their way. Simon lost count as to what numbered drink Jayne was at, he was more annoyed with how close he was next to the woman at the bar. With a deep sigh and a sympathetic look from Wash, he marched up to Jayne and pulled him away. Jayne allowed it for a moment before he pulled away angrily. 

"What the hell?!"

"I could ask you the same thing." Simon crossed his arms over his chest and glared at his supposed lover.

"I got a job ta do in the mornin'. Dangerous too. Just havin' bit of fun." Jayne scoffed as he grabbed a drink off a passing waitress and even slapped her ass. 

"Jayne!"

"What?" he asked with a raised eyebrow as he downed the drink. 

"Can't you have a bit of decency? For _anyone_? Not everyone appreciates your barbaric actions as complimentary. Also, hi! I'm _right_ here!" Simon cried. 

"And what of it?" Jayne demanded.

"What of it? What the hell Jayne? We've been together for three years! We share a fucking apartment."

"We fuck, we share a place. It's convenient."

"You don't mean that..." Simon whispered as he shook his head.

"Really? Cos I think it's time you opened those pretty little eyes of yours and figured things out." Jayne said coldly before beginning to turn away. 

Simon reached out with an indignant, 'HEY!' and before he could blink, there was an aching pain in his eye, gravity did something funny, and then Wash was at his side helping him up. When did he fall?

His left eye couldn't remain open and he covered it with one hand as he looked at the scene in front of him. Jayne was staring at his fist with widened eyes. Mal and Zoe were pushing him back, while Wash asked him questions he couldn't quite register. He turned and began to make his way towards the door. Just before he could reach it Wash was at his side again.

"Simon...uh...listen..."

"You have a job to do...bring them back safe, alright?" Simon asked of him, ever polite regardless the situation. 

He saw the pity in Wash's eyes as he nodded, "You know it. You...you gonna be okay?"

Simon looked at his feet before mumbling, "Sure."

* * *

 

The air was brisk that night, or maybe he just felt cold. 

He decided to walk home rather than take the bus or a cab. The thought of being in a place where he and Jayne shared so much not really as comforting or appealing as it usually is when he's troubled. He's thought back over the years as Jayne's words echoed at the forefront of his mind. Ever since running away with River for her safety, being chased by The Alliance, being in near death situations...he hasn't dared to think too far into the future that it'll distract him from the present.

The rule was very similar to what he had with Jayne. 

But maybe that was because even when it started, there was no future to see with himself and Jayne. 

"You seem distracted doctor."

Simon barely had time to turn around to see who had spoken when his hearing was nearly shattered by a deafening _**bang**_!

Falling backwards onto the concrete he saw the top of his building, the semi-clouded sky with a few patches cleared to see a single star. That sight was blocked when his shooter came into view with an evil smirk, "The Alliance sends their regards."

The echoing of the man's footsteps as he walked away were rather booming or maybe it was his imagination. The pain in his chest was distracting him, but not enough for him to really understand what had happened. 

It was stupid because he always hears it. ' _It happened too fast.'_ It was an excuse Simon hated hearing because it voided them of additional and helpful information. But that's what happened.

He lifted his shaking hand and saw the crimson thanks to the streetlight.

He thinks he hears someone calling his name...but everything goes black before he could be sure.

* * *

 

"Inara..."

Inara had been sitting in one of the waiting rooms uncomfortable chairs, poised and pristine as always, though worry was etched into her features. When Book came in she stood up and met him half way. Reading the look on his face and knowing the message she left him she replied, "He's in surgery. There's no word." 

"This is...crazy." the Shepherd shook his head in disbelief. "Do you know what happened? Or where the others are?"

"They left for their job. We won't be able to contact them until morning at least."

"Two days actually..."

Inara and Book looked to the speaker and saw Kaylee coming to them with River in tow. River walked as far as the end of the hall where the corridors went off towards operation rooms. 

"What do you mean?" Book asked.

"The client they're dealing with is very paranoid. All communications will be impossible for at least 48 hours...what do we know about what happened?"

"The police think it was a botched robbery..." Inara informed them with as much calmness as she could muster. 

Kaylee nodded before heading over to River to give comfort and make sure she doesn't wonder off. 

Book stepped closer to Inara and asked, "What aren't you saying?"

"I...I spoke to one of the paramedics," she whispered, making sure Kaylee and River couldn't hear her. She looked solemnly at the Shepherd, "It doesn't look good."

The Shepherd breathed in from his nose and placed a calming hand on her shoulder. They went back to sitting and waiting for news. Inara trying to send a message to Mal and the others while the Shepherd read a few passages from his bible. 

* * *

 

"Simon Tam?" a doctor in scrubs came into the waiting room reading from a clipboard. 

Inara, Shepherd Books, Kaylee, and River were around him at once. 

"Yes," Inara spoke while the rest look on imploringly.

"The bullet went into his chest and ricochet into his abdomen. He lost a lot of blood. It was touch and go for a while, but we were able to repair the injuries." the doctor explain with a smile as he ended with good news. 

"So you're saying...?" River asked.

"One centimeter over and it would have torn right through his heart. Instead...he can actually walk out of here in a couple of days. I'd say that's a minor miracle."  

The four of them letting out a sigh of relief at it.

"He needs his rest. You can see him in the morning." the doctor said before heading off. 

* * *

 

"He needs to leave."

Shepherd looked up from his bible to stare at River. They were used to her oddity, sometimes even understood it. Other times clarification was needed. "Who?"

"Simon." she stated as if it was obvious. 

"He's been badly hurt. He needs to remain here and heal."

She scrunched up her nose and shook her head, "He'll be here soon. Simon can't rest if he's here."

"Who?" the Shepherd asked, though he had an idea. 

"Jayne. The news will reach them in an hour. Avoiding laws of speed, and taking into account traffic of the time of day and area of the city, they'll reach here within six hours and forty-three minutes. Simon needs to heal, but can't if Jayne is close. He needs to leave." She repeated. 

"Moving him can be dangerous. Where will he go?" he asked River. With how often they all dealt with the injured, moving so soon wasn't so out of place.

"No one can know. Simon can't tell. I'm taking him away." she stated as she looked towards Simon's room. 

"What about Kaylee?"

"...I'll miss her." she looked down at her hands in her lap before looking at the Shepherd. "Simon gave up everything for me when I was in danger. He needs saving now. Time I return the favor." She paused for a moment before saying, "I could use a favor though."

"Favor?" 

"Mmhmm. He's not good to travel just yet. I need help getting him somewhere safe where no one will find us."

The Shepherd sighed. He wanted to protest, but he knew better. 

* * *

 

"Where is he!?" Jayne demanded to the nurse in front desk. 

The nurse looked a little started, but remained calmed. "Who may you be looking for, sir?"

"Tam! Simon Tam! He's in this gorrum hosptial an' yer gonna tell me where he is!" Jayne yelled. 

Zoe and Mal pulled Jayne back and Mal stepped in, cleared his throat, and tried for his best smile. "'scuse him, ma'am. He's a bit ansty. Our dear friend seems to have entered your fine establishment and we just need an update on his well being is all."

The nurse looked at all of them with a blank stare before turning to her computer and typing some stuff in. "Oh yes. I'm afraid you missed him. He just checked out this morning."

"What? Where he'd go?" Jayne demanded.

"I don't know, sir. The doctor's recommended he stay here a bit longer, but he wanted out. Since he was a medical official himself, it was granted."

The nurse had more to say but Jayne was bolting out of the hospital already, Mal and Zoe at his heel. Wash was waiting outside and started the truck when the others came running. 

"What happened?" he demanded. 

He was the one who got to his phone first and heard the message. To say he broke just about every speeding law from where they were to home was an understatement. He had flashbacks about the night he'd last seen Simon, and by the look of guilt and jittery actions from Jayne, so did he. Once Mal and Zoe were in, Jayne slammed his hand on the dashboard and demanded Wash to go. 

Getting to Jayne and Simon's apartment was both long and too soon. Jayne paused a bit at the dried blood before he dashed up to their apartment. 

"SIMON!" he yelled as he barged in. 

Silence. 

He barreled into their bedroom, bathroom, anywhere that he could open to look for Simon. 

"He ain't here." Jayne mumbled miserably. 

"He's probably with River and lil Kaylee. He was hurt, he couldn't be left all by his lonesome." Mal replied. 

Zoe and Wash shared a look that didn't seem all too convinced. 

"Yeah...yeah, he's probably with em bein' pampered an' whatnot." Jayne said, mostly to reassure himself.

"Right..." Mal said as they made it back downstairs. 

The ride to Kaylee's and River's was quiet. Jayne seemed like a caged animal, all ready to bolt. And once they arrived, Wash didn't even place the vehicle in park, before Jayne was off like a rocket and knocking on their door. 

* * *

 

"I hit him...I told him he was a convenient fuck. If he hadn't left cos of me he wouldn't...I shoulda been there Mal!"

They were on the front porch of Kaylee and River's place. Well, Kalyee's place now. Zoe and Wash were inside with Kaylee and Inara as they were filled in about what happened while they were gone. Mal being the closet thing Jayne would respect was the one who dared be close to him at this time. 

"Coulda been shot at yourself had ya been." Mal said, knowing it wasn't any comfort and could guess Jayne's reply. 

"So? It's part of my job to be shot at! It's Sy's job to patch me up!" he buried his face in his hands. His chest ached with hurt and his stomach was in knots with guilt. He clenched and unclenched his fist. His knuckled burned at the memory that he'd punched Simon as hard as he could, knocking him to the ground...after flirting shamelessly with people he couldn't even remember now. All he could see was Simon's dazed and wounded look on the floor. He was so pale that the bruise was already forming by the time Jayne turned away. He'd hurt his lover and turned away. Went back to drinking and making a damn fool of himself while his Simon was shot at and left bleeding in front of their home. 

"He's alive." Mal's voice broke through his thoughts, but didn't offer much comfort. 

"He's gone." Jayne paused before he asked. "Think he'll come back?"

"I dunno Jayne...do you want him to?"

And that was a fully loaded question, wasn't it? He made himself damn clear that night at the bar. Wash had been very vocal about it all during their trip. Mal not as much, but made it clear that if Jayne wasn't gonna be as invested as the doc, to deal with it and get passed it, cos he didn't need any complications with his crew. Zoe was quiet but her stare had been chiding. Jayne? Well, he was his simple minded, macho man self and said things without thinking. 

And he feels like he brought this on himself. When he heard Simon was shot...he forgot how to breathe. He needed to see Simon, make sure with his own eyes that he was okay. But he was denied that and maybe he deserved it. 

He stood up, took a deep breath, before beginning to march off. 

"Where ya going?" Mal called out.

Jayne paused before replying, "Dunno what I'm gonna say. Dunno what I can say...but I'm gonna find him. Get on my hands an' knees and beg fer him to forgive me if need be."

Mal sighed but Jayne heard him come up to him. "Then come inside. We need to plan."

"Yer gonna help me?"

"I told you, I hate complications. But they happen anyways. So yeah, gonna help ya find the missing part of my crew." 

Jayne looked at him for a moment before he nodded and followed Mal back towards the house. "I know I messed up big, Mal. I ain't gonna do it again."

Mal opened the door for him, "Let's hope you get the change to mess up again and then make the right choice not to."

 


End file.
